Guidance Should Never Become Pressure

Mr. Potnis's daughter, Reena, was well-educated, intelligent, and graceful. She had just completed her studies when a marriage proposal arrived from Aditya. He too was highly educated, well settled abroad, and appeared to be an ideal match.

The families met for the traditional introductory ceremony. Since Aditya was overseas and his mother's health was very fragile, only his parents attended the meeting. They seemed cultured, financially secure, and respectable. Impressed by everything they saw and heard, Mr. Potnis liked Aditya even before meeting him in person.

Reena and Aditya spoke over a few video calls. Based on the information available, Reena agreed to the proposal. Soon, the wedding date was fixed—even though the two had never met face to face.

Aditya had asked his parents for more time before making such an important decision. However, they repeatedly reminded him of his mother's failing health and emotionally pressured him into agreeing. He finally gave in.

The wedding took place as planned. Soon after the ceremony, Aditya returned abroad, saying he could not extend his leave. Since Reena did not yet have a visa, she stayed with her in-laws for several months. After much effort, her visa was finally approved.

But the moment she landed in her new country, her world came crashing down.

Aditya had secretly married another woman without his parents' knowledge. He had married Reena only because he had been unable to withstand the emotional pressure from his family and the circumstances surrounding his mother's illness.

In a single moment, every dream Reena had cherished about her married life was shattered.

Such incidents are not limited to families where the groom lives abroad. Similar stories can be found all around us. Many young men and women agree to marriage—or even get married—simply because of family pressure.

But when a relationship begins without genuine willingness, love, affection, or emotional connection, it soon becomes empty. What is the value of a marriage where hearts are not united? What is the purpose of a relationship that exists only because someone was forced into it?

Fortunately, most parents today are thoughtful and understanding. They value their son or daughter's opinion and make decisions only after considering their wishes. Yet, there are still some families where parents firmly believe that their children will unquestioningly accept whatever match they choose. They assume that saying "no" is simply not an option.

With this mindset, they search for a suitable alliance. If their son or daughter expresses hesitation or refuses the proposal, emotional pressure often follows until they finally agree.

Some young people have the courage to stand by their decision. Others, however, surrender under the weight of family expectations and enter marriages against their own wishes.

Sometimes, with time, the couple develops understanding and companionship. But many relationships begin with emotional distance, leaving little room for love, warmth, or trust to grow.

In their determination to fulfil their own expectations, parents may unknowingly harm not only their own child but also the dreams of the person who enters the family as their child's spouse. Carrying the burden of an unwilling marriage then becomes a lifelong struggle.

The tragedy of a relationship born out of emotional pressure can be devastating. It affects not just the couple, but both families.

To all parents, I offer one humble request: your guidance is invaluable, and your responsibility is unquestionable. Please continue to advise your children with love and wisdom. But remember, they are the ones who must spend their lives together.

Guide them—but never force them.

Because guidance is an act of love; pressure is not.

 

  20th July, 2026