Initial Consent in Matrimonial Search

When discussing matrimonial searches with clients, I always ask if they’ve gotten their son or daughter’s permission before setting up their profile on a matrimonial site or with a marriage bureau. Many parents are puzzled or annoyed by this question, thinking their desire for their child to marry should be enough.

Here’s a real example: A few years ago, Mr. Joshi came to my office very upset. His son, Ritesh, was angry because Mr. Joshi had started looking for a match for him without telling him first. Ritesh, who was 27, was interested in someone but hadn’t shared this with his father. When Mr. Joshi arranged a meeting with another potential match, it led to a big fight. Ritesh felt his feelings and current relationship were ignored, causing major tension between them.

This situation highlights the importance of having a clear and open conversation with your child before starting the matrimonial search. Parents should ask if their child is ready for marriage, and if they have any preferences or are already seeing someone. Many young people prefer to keep their dating lives private until they’re sure about their choices, and not involving them can lead to misunderstandings.

Parents, make sure you have your child’s explicit approval before you start searching for a match. Find out about their readiness and preferences. If they are dating someone or have a specific choice, be open to considering it. Adjusting to these modern expectations can help prevent conflicts and make the process smoother. Today’s generation is quite independent. So it is time for parents to change their perspective as per changing culture. Because sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be.